LOS ANGELES — The worst day ever of my year is over.
My son, Michael, passed away last Thursday, March 15, just a few hours after he texted his mom, telling her he was having trouble breathing.
He was just five.
I had just turned 40.
It was the saddest day of all my life.
I lost my son the day he went to work at McDonald’s.
I could not imagine how terrible it must have been for him.
But, no matter what, I could always count on him.
And that’s how I will always remember him: He loved life, he was outgoing, he loved being with people and he loved to cook.
He loved people.
He had a great sense of humor.
He knew his place.
His family loved him and he wanted to be remembered for his hard work, his smiles and his big smile.
It’s a very special moment in my life, one that I will never forget.
I cried for a week after he passed, trying to hold back the tears that came rolling down my cheeks.
He didn’t get to see me when he was gone, but he made sure I knew that I loved him, too.
I will miss him.
I miss all of you.
I just wanted to get him out of the house, because I know you know what I’m thinking right now, so I’m not going to say it.
But he was so special to me.
And, as the days went by, I became even more special to him.
The day after his death, I was in his bedroom in his office when he asked me to call him on the phone.
I told him I was having a hard day, but I was really going to miss him, because he meant the world to me and I love him.
He told me to wait until his wife and I got home, and then he told me he was going to go to work.
He came home and then I went to the door and there was Michael waiting for me.
When I walked in the door, he had a big smile on his face and I knew right away that I was his mom.
I never could have imagined the love and support that my family and I were getting.
And I knew it was just the best day of his life.
Michael loved people, especially me.
He said he never wanted to work in a factory or have a job that didn’t make him happy.
And he always had a smile on my face.
I knew my husband would never be happier than when he worked with Michael.
I have no idea how Michael would have reacted if I hadn’t been with him every day of our marriage.
I can’t even begin to imagine what it must be like for him to not be able to have a normal day and not have Michael with him.
It would have been so hard on him and we would have felt like nothing ever happened.
We would have gone on vacation together and gone to Disneyland and spent the rest of our lives together.
And we never would have had a chance to see Michael and my family.
He would have stayed in my room when I went out to dinner.
I would never have been able to see him, and my kids wouldn’t have had any chance to be with me either.
I am so grateful that my husband and I found peace, and I am forever grateful for Michael’s memory.
I’m grateful to God for his spirit and that his spirit can be with us forever.
We are all in a better place than we were yesterday.
We can see how we have all gotten better, and that is what Michael always told me.
I feel so lucky to have been around him and I think it’s important for us to keep doing that.
I love Michael, but as the months go by, it’s going to get better.
My husband is so lucky because he has an amazing family.
They love him so much.
They want to take care of him and help him through this difficult time.
He is going to be missed by all of us, but Michael will always be with the ones who love him most.